summer

its finally summer and i am taking a break from blogging. I will probably come back soon but right now it feels like too much pressure. SOOOO talk to you soon....maybe.

are you kidding me

So after my decision to just live with my crush and try not to obsess too much and just watch from afar, He fets moved right next to me. He just had to talk all through english and now he sits next to quiet me. On top of that I was wearing an absolutely disgusting outfit today due to rain and shorts mishap. Lets just set it involved cut off sweats and tennis shoes with no socks.... sexy I know. So with no hope of impressing him today I have to look extra cute tomorrow. Despite what I said I am just going to go full force.

So basically....

I am trying to get over this guy. Unfortunately I have it bad. I have liked him for the majority of the year and I was honestly starting to get over him. Then we got put into a project group together and it has been downhill from there. I still get butterflies every time I see him and I want him like no other. I indulge myself in thinking about us being together even though I know it probably won't happen. Any tips on how to flirt in a more effective way. The way I see it is if I am never going to stop liking you why torture myself through distance and keep our relationship as only a figment of my overactive imagination.

Makeover

So this summer I want to give myself a total makeover. Back to my mission of coming into my own and I am not quite sure how to go about this or fund this either. The object is to make a splash for the second half of my high school career. Any and all ideas are welcome.

Permit

Got it. Today. Boo. Yah.

star testing

absolutely sucks. Required testing mandated my the state which could save thousands but no. Instead I have to sit in a cranky math teacher's class for three hours trying to remember old geometric formulas so the government can see how well we are doing. Dear California you really spend your money well.

Silence

The silence has finally broken between me and my drunk dialing victim. We got put into a project together and now are forced to talk. Oh thank God for your forceful intervention. Now lets hope the shyness won't get the best of me. Maybe I can nurse our once flirtatious relationship back to health. I sure hope so because man he is looking fine.

lost

I lost my brand new droid. I cant even read what I am writing because I have just been crying. I have insurance but my mom says I cant get a new one. I am soo depressed now.

Ahhh food

Dear obesity,
I am well on my way to becoming one of your statistics. I am on Spring break and I just spent the past 2 days at my dad's house doing nothing short of eating until an NFL team would be appalled. I have learned that I could become a compulsive over eater if I don't pass my permit test next month leaving me with nothing to do except sulk over attractive boys and eat my body weight in Ho ho's. Sounds like a grim future so I better study up.

WHAT!?!

omg guys I just told someone that I like them and I still like a different guy more but he says he likes me back so what should i do? AHH this post makes no sense so I am sorry if you are confused I am just all discombobulated.

All apologies

Is a great song but that is beside the point. I haven't had time to write what with school and lacrosse and stuff soooo I will do a full post soon.

Emptyness

So today I spent the day with my two best friends. We went to the movies and saw She's Out of My League, which was way better than I expected. Overall it was a fun day that any normal girl would have been perfectly fine with. However I am not that normal. As soon as I get into the car instead of thanking my mom for driving me and funding the day I lash out like no other. Once I get home I feel very empty. I am not quite sure how to fix this. I know I am not depressed or anything and I am still upset over last weekends fail. I'll keep trying.

Anonymity

DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE. Today's modern times have made it absolutely impossible to do anything in secret. First of all I write a slightly scandalous message to the crush...without my name hoping to slip it into his locker and spark interest in the mystery. Fail. Friends= I am going to search through her backpack for gum like its any of my business oh wait what's this a note. OMG LAUREN!!! What is this? Me=Damn. Drunken message on a restricted number sounded like a good idea at the time. What was I thinking? Obviously my lack of judgment due to intoxication played a big part in this scenario. He found out it was me. Not thanks to voice recognition but thanks to a friend of mine who spilled the beans. Welcome to the land of awkward population me.

Flowers

So im sitting in history pondering about life. I sit by the window in a corner seat which is usually a disadvantage since the shades don't cover the enormous window right next to me so movies=blindness. Well it has been quite wintry lately but I am really liking March. I see the first hints of spring and that is why I am writing. I look out the window and the tree that was once bare from any sig of life is blooming with gorgeous flowers. I am generally not one to take note but I just couldn't stop looking. It really made me actually appreciate spring for more than just a chillier summer except with school. Thank you tree. You are beautiful.

Ohno!

he is going to prom. not with me. because we are sophs. and she is a junior.

Facebook

Hello. I am on vacation with the fam. So I have been kind of disconnected from the friends. As a result I am on facebook 24/7. This website is evil because the second you log off you wonder if the person you need to talk to right at that second just logged on. I also look at a ceretain someone's profile like 18 times a day. I wish there was a sarcasm font now because someone with no sense of overexaggeration would put a creeper label on me. Seriously though I do long for him to initiate chat with me. I don't want to feel like a stalker talking to him all the time. Maybe he is just shy or something. Well if he would just chat me it would really make my life a whole lot better.

My Valentine

Dear Valentine,
I like you. Alot. I like you so much that my mind is filled with nothing but any sort of contact we may have had or that I possibly made up. I can't really tell the difference these days. You occasionally talk to me sometimes even flirt. Remember that Friday. Well I do. I wish I could go back and relive it. I didn't even care people noticed us flirting which usually I am terribly careful about. I am your friend on facebook, my heart sinks when I need to talk to you and you aren't online. I stare at your profile at least twice a day. I don't stalk you though I promise. I am not a creep. Even though I imagine us getting married and getting old together. Oh by the way I hope you are free December 1, 2018 because that's when I want to get married. No big deal. Ok if you ever read this I will be incredibly embarrassed but relieved you know my true feelings. I am falling hard so if your not interested this will suck.
xoxoxo,
Lauren

CAHSEE

California High School Exit Exam. Joke. This was literally the easiest test I have ever taken in my life. My school has a 99% passing rate but still I could have passed it in the sixth grade. To think that some schools have a 50% pass rate really depresses me. Any middle school student in a decent district could pass the CAHSEE with flying colors. We really need to spend more of the budget on education because those who don't pass need some serious help.

Someone save me.

This weekend has been so annoying. So after many hours of confusion I go to my cousin's house at like nine on Friday. I watch Twilight yet again, and we stay up until the wee hours of the night. I talk to Dan which I figure is done better by myself because I said really idiotic things when my cousin was advising me. The next morning. Dan facebook chats me. Yay I still have a chance. We talk all is well. I leave go to dinner with my mom and sister, go home and I get into a crappy mood which I take as a combination of PMSing and exhausting my mind going over conversations I have had with him. He's online and it is another stupid conversation on my part. Luckily he did say he would talk to me today. So I need to put myself into another activity to get my mind off of him. Any suggestions.

WOW

Hey guys new development on my love life. His name is Dan. He is hot. I think im falling for him no big deal. Anyway don't want t o jinx it. Thats all.

What should I do?

So my cousin has a totally awesome life. I am quite jealous because i feel I try pretty hard and yet I am still missing something. I need to do something fabulous like now. No I am not trying to beat her at life but I spend my time unproductively and it is not ok. So some unique ideas for hobbies and such would be great. Thanks!!

Come on guys

Ok. Finals week is over, yay. Friday was awful. Why you ask. Well I had my bio final on Friday and some of you who have super memory remember that Nick the one who makes my life miserably interesting is in that class. So I have this one final and I get to go to school for two hours and then bounce. Simple. Despite the rain I straighten my hair and get cute because the wretched feelings for Nick come back. Oh Nick why must I succumb to society's pressure to get you to notice me in a way that doesn't remind you of awkward middle school one way love stories. Why? Because you're incredibly cute and everything I have wanted since the awkward days of middle school. So I am rushing through my final everything is relatively easy with the exception of photosynthesis. Plants eat sunlight?! So I finish my final in 45 minutes. Luckily we finish almost at the same time. We go into the other room to get stuff to do for the remainder of the two hours.

*Side note* Yes my bio class has two rooms. One spacious lab where we keep backpacks and do labs and what not. One ridiculous janitor's closet sized crap hole crammed with 35 kids who don't really like eachother. Why Mrs. B must you insist we learn about the wonders of biology in the latter room. The world will never know.

Besides that tidbit we go into spacious lab room and stay until we are told to go back into sardine can room for reasons again the world will never know. We talk and talk and I use my best flirting abilities which really isn't saying much what with my shy and guarded disposition and fear of rejection. Oh but with Nick's special abilities to make me feel so comfortable with myself I think I am doing a pretty good job. That was until Nicole finished.

*Side note 2* Nicole is one of my best friends. That said the girl has issues with selfishness. Reflecting back to Adam the last boy of my dreams I told Nicole that I liked him. Mistake number one. Next day we go to the football game and she is all over him. With her top notch flirting skills and adorable size she can get in with almost anyone. So now she has a boy friend. Not Adam and by the way I am over him. So I figure it'll be alright to tell her about Nick. Mistake number two. Next day she is all over him.

So a few days before the final I confront Nicole. I tell her I think your flirting with Nick was a little over the top and since you have a boyfriend and I like him it would be great if I could get a crack at it. She admits to it we get over it whatever she's forgiven. Day of the final rolls around and I am getting somewhere with boy wonder Nick. She goes to the other room and right in the middle of our quiet conversation he gets up and follows her with no warning, invitation to follow, or apology headed my way. Today has to be the day for my bio teacher not to notice the two people screwing with my own self confidence and future analysis on men and women leave and not come back. Then I realized mistake number three. Nicole had asked if she should find out things about Nick for me. Thinking it was and probably was intended a token of apology for the past days flirting I had agreed. I had also thought she would ask her own boyfriend who happened to be friends with Nick about him. Logical thinking, definitely. Nicole thinking, of course not.

The slowest test taker I have ever witnessed finally finishes and we are released from our cage of a classroom into the mysterious depths in the lab. I am pretty angry with Nick and Nicole. Nicole asks me to go to the bathroom with her until I couldn't decline anymore. We go into a bathroom I hadn't known existed which was completely tiled in orange (our colors are green and gold) to have a depressing conversation. She tells me what she found out. I also found out the things she found out were his secrets that she extracted from what sounded like one of the most intimate heart to hearts in the history of conversation. I make myself sound delighted to know these things but I felt like a jerk on the inside knowing things I never wished to know unless they were coming from the one I longed to be with.

Will I ever learn?

krappy kraft

Ok kraft american cheese is no one's first choice but kraft basically owns the US so what can you do? Anyway this is a short post. Just reporting I saw the latest Krap...Kraft* commercial and you should all watch and observe because if I am not mistaken Kermit the Frog is the narrator.

Comments

Not complaining I absolutely love any sort of feedback on posts. It's like a present and I read all of them. (I say that like there are hundreds to be read). I have just noticed a pattern, every other post gets commented on. I have 3 followers which is 3 times more than what I started with so yay. Let's hope for three more in the new year and I won't think you are a creeper if you always comment I would actually love it. No pressure or anything. Just commenting about comments because that is what I do. Study tips are still welcome. I got through english pretty easily just five more to go. Spanish and history tomorrow. Awesome.

Cat Sitting

Watching cats. For four days. And studying for finals. Woo fricken hoo. Yes I am not joking around. My paranoid aunt and uncle are paying me the big bucks to stay at their house and watch the cats. You can see how much of a life I have. I am also awful at studying so if you have any tips on final studying it would be much appreciated.

Are your pants on the ground?

Idol has started yet again. It will most likely be a boring season seeing as no one can replace Adam and of course David Cook. So I am watching auditions and the last one of the night was a 62 year old veteran. I am almost certain he has some disorder. So he breaks out into a rap that he wrote. It is about how people look like fools when their pants on the ground. He cleverly named it Pants on the Ground.

The Lovely Bones

I have just completed the book The Lovely Bones. It was pretty good. I'll admit that I cried but it was very good. I read it mainly because my step sister wants to see it for her birthday. Now the book is quite dark and the murderer is made out to be a big pedophile creep. Seeing the commercials I was like wow he is perfect for that role. Then I find out it is played by Stanley tucci who also played the gay assistant in The Devil Wears Prada and the husband of Julia Child in Julie and Julia. Yeah ok he better be really good because that is all I am going to be thinking about while watching the movie. I also thought that the grandmother was played by Kelly Bishop from Gilmore Girls but I guess it is Susan Surandon. I hope it lives up to the book.

Happy New Year!!!!

Ok first I want to address an issue, I do proof read. Then I will look back on posts and it's like wtf did I really spell it that way. Ok next order of business, New years was fun. I went to a party and danced and took tons of pictures. Yesterday I went shopping and hit up VS for the semi anual sale which is always fun. Today I am going to another party and I am pretty stoked. So far 2010 has been a great year and I hope to keep it up.