sick

I am sick without swine thank god. I am tired and sniffly and coughy those arent words but whatever. So I am missing school i am probaly missing the most important lesson of the year but hey that is what study hall is for right. Back to bed and a new tissue box for me.

Nick.

Nick. It needs no explanation. Just Nick. Now let me explain. Nick is a crush long forgotten. Way back in 7th grade and half of 8th. Well world guess who I sit next to in bio. The infamous Nick. When were in class he just acts so charming and charismatic. I forget what a jerk he is. A user. He was aware of my crush back when it happened. I dont want it to come back to haunt me but it is slowly creeping. Just when I think I'm in I find out he is going to homecoming with his ex love. Here is how the sequence of events went down:
"Hey Lauren"
"Hey Nick"
"uhm...Are you going to homecoming?"
(Falsely brought on excitement) "Yes I am"
"Who are you going with?"
(In my head) oh this is it he is asking me.
"No one..."
(still me) "Who are you going with"
"oh I am going with that girl I dated for over year yeah you know the one who practically ripped us apart"
ok maybe the last part is false but back then I had a pretty fair chance. Life is just unfair but I'll deal.

homecoming...sigh

this is terrible homecoming is so close and i really want a date but i think its too late. i also need a dress. hmm what about nick preferably enzo but thats a long shot. this is a pretty lame post

Here

I am here. I am well. I just spent a very enjoyable night with some friends. Life is rough sometimes but hey we have to get over it right. Wrong. I can only take my mind off of things for so long. Now just to fill everyone in me and my dad....used to be close. USED TO BE. Then he got sick. He turned to his good buddy sky and met up with grey goose and hasn't been the same since. It's a sad situation I used to see him every other day (divorced parents). Then he decided to up and leave to a remote town out of my way about an hour and a half. He split off from his entire family and doesn't agree with other opinions. People just don't understand how lucky they are if they have two normal parents. Yeah it sucks not having a dad but it sucks even worse to have a great dad until age 10 and watch him slowly fall apart mind and body.

today i found out my dad is dying