Ok. Finals week is over, yay. Friday was awful. Why you ask. Well I had my bio final on Friday and some of you who have super memory remember that Nick the one who makes my life miserably interesting is in that class. So I have this one final and I get to go to school for two hours and then bounce. Simple. Despite the rain I straighten my hair and get cute because the wretched feelings for Nick come back. Oh Nick why must I succumb to society's pressure to get you to notice me in a way that doesn't remind you of awkward middle school one way love stories. Why? Because you're incredibly cute and everything I have wanted since the awkward days of middle school. So I am rushing through my final everything is relatively easy with the exception of photosynthesis. Plants eat sunlight?! So I finish my final in 45 minutes. Luckily we finish almost at the same time. We go into the other room to get stuff to do for the remainder of the two hours.
*Side note* Yes my bio class has two rooms. One spacious lab where we keep backpacks and do labs and what not. One ridiculous janitor's closet sized crap hole crammed with 35 kids who don't really like eachother. Why Mrs. B must you insist we learn about the wonders of biology in the latter room. The world will never know.
Besides that tidbit we go into spacious lab room and stay until we are told to go back into sardine can room for reasons again the world will never know. We talk and talk and I use my best flirting abilities which really isn't saying much what with my shy and guarded disposition and fear of rejection. Oh but with Nick's special abilities to make me feel so comfortable with myself I think I am doing a pretty good job. That was until Nicole finished.
*Side note 2* Nicole is one of my best friends. That said the girl has issues with selfishness. Reflecting back to Adam the last boy of my dreams I told Nicole that I liked him. Mistake number one. Next day we go to the football game and she is all over him. With her top notch flirting skills and adorable size she can get in with almost anyone. So now she has a boy friend. Not Adam and by the way I am over him. So I figure it'll be alright to tell her about Nick. Mistake number two. Next day she is all over him.
So a few days before the final I confront Nicole. I tell her I think your flirting with Nick was a little over the top and since you have a boyfriend and I like him it would be great if I could get a crack at it. She admits to it we get over it whatever she's forgiven. Day of the final rolls around and I am getting somewhere with boy wonder Nick. She goes to the other room and right in the middle of our quiet conversation he gets up and follows her with no warning, invitation to follow, or apology headed my way. Today has to be the day for my bio teacher not to notice the two people screwing with my own self confidence and future analysis on men and women leave and not come back. Then I realized mistake number three. Nicole had asked if she should find out things about Nick for me. Thinking it was and probably was intended a token of apology for the past days flirting I had agreed. I had also thought she would ask her own boyfriend who happened to be friends with Nick about him. Logical thinking, definitely. Nicole thinking, of course not.
The slowest test taker I have ever witnessed finally finishes and we are released from our cage of a classroom into the mysterious depths in the lab. I am pretty angry with Nick and Nicole. Nicole asks me to go to the bathroom with her until I couldn't decline anymore. We go into a bathroom I hadn't known existed which was completely tiled in orange (our colors are green and gold) to have a depressing conversation. She tells me what she found out. I also found out the things she found out were his secrets that she extracted from what sounded like one of the most intimate heart to hearts in the history of conversation. I make myself sound delighted to know these things but I felt like a jerk on the inside knowing things I never wished to know unless they were coming from the one I longed to be with.
Will I ever learn?
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I suspect you will learn a few things in your life, and over time you will find that most people really can be trusted, but there will still be a few people who do betray you. Sorry about Nicole - she seems to have self-esteem issues. Everyone does, but I am more sympathetic to some manifestations of that than I am of others. (Jealousy, for one example - it is a very common response to low self-esteem. Since no one is 100% self-confident all the time, I'd like to be forgiving, but I can't. It is so very clear to me how much better the world would be without jealousy, that I advocate making it a capital crime. Please note that I am in all other cases completely against the death penalty.)
ReplyDeleteIn the case of Nicole, I would not share with her any information about anyone you might be interested in. She will feel the need to demonstrate that she is more desirable or, at least, better at making "connections" than you are (or anyone else is, either, and never mind that she is only "pretending" to connect with another human being to advance her own purposes). Frankly, her behavior creeps me out. She is either taking advantage of his possible interest in her (while dating a close friend of his) or pressing him inappropriately for very personal information while pretending to be worthy of his confidence.
Sorry, but she has boundary issues and loyalty issues and basic human compassion issues, in addition to her run-of-the-mill self esteem issues. Ask yourself if she has the capacity to truly see things from another person's perspective, or if she can only relate every situation to herself. Narcissists can be fun to be with, but they WILL let you down - they can't help it.
As for Nick, you have another concern. I would encourage you to continue talking to him whenever you get the chance and see where it goes, BUT...
You now know things about him that he probably doesn't expect you to know. He will probably be very put-off to find out that you know these things, so you can't comfortably let him know that you do. On the other hand, knowing his "secrets" and not letting him know that you do is dishonest and awkward, too. Best scenario, you get Nicole to tell him that she told you everything he said. (There are several benefits to this - such as, he'll never trust her again and, if he likes her now, he'll get over her fast.) Then, you approach him, apologize for Nicole and for the fact you know things you shouldn't, and say you hope it doesn't make him too uncomfortable that you know them. It probably WILL make him uncomfortable, but he probably won't want to admit it. He will either be able to get over it (which leaves you no worse off than you are now, and maybe no better, either, but could lead to an opportunity for the two of you to talk on a deeper level), or he won't. And, if he can't get comfortable with your knowing his secrets, things really won't work any better if you hold those secrets in your head but never let him know. Compounded secrets is no foundation for any decent relationship.
That is some good advice thank you oh so very much.
ReplyDeletei just reread my comment and it sounded slightly sarcastic, just letting you know it was meant in all seriousness. thanks!
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome. Sorry I couldn't comment on the last post, but I don't have much to say about macaroni and cheese and I haven't seen the commercial, yet.
ReplyDeleteNo worries. I would rather you spread the word on the blog so I can get as much positive and that occasional negative advice. Thanks!!
ReplyDelete