Sunday, August 23, 2009
Abandoned?
Tricia where have you gone? Anyway I feel like writing again so I will. Last night I attended my cousins birthday party. We are the same age and about 20 people came over. Everyone seemed really close. Why can't I have this great circle of friends that loves to get together and what not. I just can't seem to find that which is a big part of my self transformation. I need a solid group who I can feel comfortable with and always have a good time. So I guess I will try and let it happen naturally but I may get impatient. I am afraid I will start trying to search for it and when you hunt for friends you always get a negative result. Hopefully I will find them sooner or later preferably sooner.
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Earlier today, a friend posted this update to Facebook, "These are my friends...I made them." I believe it is a line from.Blade Runner. Anyway, you can't find friends, you have to make them. Or, if you prefer The Little Prince, you must "tame" them. It is not easy, but it is not complicated, either. First, decide what qualities someone should have for you to want his or her friendship. Look around (ALL around) for people whom seem to have those qualities. Then, you must make a targeted, intensive effort to get to know those people. for me, this means approaching them very directly and telling them that I find them interesting or appealing in whatever way, that I'd like to learn more about them. I told you it wasn't easy. It doesn't always work, but you have a pretty good chance if you choose the right people for the right reasons. And, it has the advantage that you can be proactive and not patient. However, making friends with/ taming these people once you have begun the process takes time and DOES require patience.
ReplyDeleteI once was very, very shy, had few friends, and had NO really good, close friends. Within just a few short years (< 6), I was at the center of a large circle of friends, like your cousin's, many of whom trace their connections to one another through ME. I am still in that role years later. My method WORKS. Alternatively, you could work on being - very visibly and noticeably - the kind of person others would choose as a friend. Sadly, one's hidden inner beauty rarely inspires others to invite one's friendship. It is only in unusual situations like your retreat this summer that allows others the opportunity to see and appreciate one's true personality. That is why I advised you earlier to STAY inside-out.
so so true. I am starting to lose the inside out effect but im trying hard to maintain it.
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